Are You Serving Everyone In Your Life But Yourself?
Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or working on your professional career, you may be feeling torn between a desire to make others happy—to get their approval—and a desire for independent fulfillment. If you struggle with low self-esteem, getting other people to accept you might seem easier than accepting yourself.
If you’re a stay-at-home mom, do you stress about…everything? Maybe this looks like fixing perfect meals, looking your best for your spouse, or maybe hosting that perfect birthday party? Do you feel like you have to live up to others’ expectations at the expense of what feels good to you?
Traditional views about women as domestic caretakers have been slow to change, and despite these views, society continues to create the immense pressure to be the perfect woman, the perfect partner, the perfect mother, the perfect caregiver. Let’s face it, we all know the days of being a 1950s housewife are dead and gone. Thank goodness! Yet the legacy still remains for many women.
If you’re in the workforce, do you have a job and a title that looks great on paper but still leaves you feeling unfulfilled? Lingering institutional barriers have created an environment where women in the professional realm constantly have to prove themselves.
Trying to be everything to everyone is exhausting.
If your grueling efforts to do what is right for everyone else but yourself have failed to translate into happiness, it is only natural that you might start to question yourself and your abilities. In the past, you might have found yourself feeling stuck in the wrong relationships or in the wrong job because it was socially acceptable or looked good on paper. But your desire to please others—to look good and do the right/socially acceptable thing—and the amount of energy you’ve already invested has made staying the course seem like the only choice.
Fortunately, you don’t have to struggle with these issues and choices alone. As a female counselor, I can show you how to reduce stress, set healthy relationship boundaries, and ask for what you need so you can be fulfilled without feeling guilt or shame.
Some Women Are Expected To Be Everything To Everyone
Many women feel responsible for the happiness of their children, partners, parents, colleagues, and friends. While selflessness is considered an admirable trait in American culture, setting unattainable goals and trying to be everything to everyone—and look perfect while doing it—is extremely angst-producing. This mentality has taken its toll on many women. One in three women will be diagnosed with an anxiety-related disorder in their lifetime compared to only one in five men, according to Scientific American.
Furthermore, according to the Anxiety and Depression Society of America, “From the time a girl reaches puberty until about the age of 50, she is twice as likely to have an anxiety disorder as a man. Anxiety disorders also occur earlier in women than in men.”
You feel like you’re being pulled in so many different directions.
In today’s society, women are, indeed, being pulled in so many different directions, which can make it difficult to stay centered. When you are pulled in so many different directions, you may not know who you are anymore. And worst of all, no matter what you do, it never seems to be good enough.
It may seem like the women all around you—your friends, coworkers, neighbors, and the women on TV, Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook—have it all, do it all, and look perfect doing it. While you may know deep down that this isn’t the case, the pressure to measure up is there, nonetheless. So, it’s no surprise that many women suffer from anxiety fueled by low self-esteem.
Anxiety counseling is unique in that it allows you to express yourself and share your feelings of anxiety and overwhelm in a safe and confidential environment. Anxiety therapy allows you the opportunity to feel heard and understood, with compassion and respect, in a judgment-free environment. This is an invaluable opportunity to share your feelings, and in so doing, experience change and more personal growth than you ever could have imagined. You will create space for and experience the wholeness you crave with someone who has an objective point of view—something that friends or family might not be able to provide.
Many women I’ve worked with simply want to feel heard and understood without putting their reputation at risk, and anxiety therapy provides that. Our focus will be to help you work through your unique challenges and help you find out what you truly want and need out of life.
This process is about getting to know what your struggles are and helping you to help yourself. We’ll talk about how you experience the world around you, your strengths, and how to leverage those strengths to meet your future goals. We will get curious about what makes you anxious, what created your feelings of overwhelm, and why you tend to respond to certain stressors the way you do.
Together, we will work with the parts of you that are reactive and that no longer serve you. You will find that you will start to respond very differently to triggers in your life than you used to. You will gain a greater sense of perspective on your relationships, and make healthier choices.
Going to talk therapy for anxiety and overwhelm will also help you to quiet those repetitive, self-critical, and judgmental thought patterns.
Feeling heard and understood without criticism is tantamount to making your way through and managing your anxiety. Utilizing very powerful techniques, you’ll learn to react more thoughtfully to challenges.
As our work together evolves, you will experience a level of calm and objectivity in your life that has been missing. Your level of anxiety will noticeably decrease and your level of self-confidence will improve. In our work together, your intuition will rise, you will experience clarity in your life, and you will feel empowered to set your boundaries around how much you will give to others or allow others to take from you.
You’ll more readily celebrate your successes and more easily move past your failures. That critical voice inside you will move aside to make room for thoughts of encouragement and resilience. As you develop healthier relationship boundaries and greater self-respect, the people in your life will begin to respect you more, as well.
Stress therapy will make you more likely to walk away from people and situations that aren’t good for you. As a result, you’ll be less stressed and will get more satisfaction from your life.
As You Consider Anxiety Therapy, You May Be Wondering…
Is anxiety counseling really worth the cost?
Cost is a common objection, but the reality is that we invest in ourselves every day. We buy food to nourish ourselves, and we buy clothes, makeup, and accessories that boost our self-esteem. But imagine feeling good from the inside out. This is an investment in you—in your life. You have to want to make the commitment to invest in yourself. By doing this, you will get to the point where you won’t need to derive your sense of self from people and things. You are worth this work and you deserve this work because you deserve to live a fulfilling and joyful life.
Won’t my family and friends judge me for seeking out help
Maybe they will and maybe they won’t. Some family members—who have a vested interest in your doing what serves them in your life—may discount or judge you for any problems you share with them. The same holds true with romantic relationships, as well. That’s why professional anxiety therapy is so useful. In our confidential sessions, you’ll get unbiased advice to help you heal, all without risking your reputation or relationships.
I don’t want to invest the time. Can’t I just handle this on my own?
Many people don’t make an appointment until they’re in full-on crisis mode. If you’re considering therapy now, you have an opportunity to take control of your life before current challenges escalate any further. The time you invest in each session will be time well spent, helping you progress more quickly toward your other life goals.
Experience Greater Calm And Confidence
It is possible to achieve balance in your life, to have a higher level of self-confidence, self-respect, and self-acceptance, and to experience a greater sense of calm.
Imagine calling the shots in your life. Won’t it be refreshing to do what you want to do and to forgo doing things for others that you really don’t want to do? It will be so freeing to get out from underneath the weight of doing things for others simply because it looks good or is “acceptable” to them. Life with boundaries around your time and your happiness will feel great and will fuel you on your path to self-care, self-love, and fulfilment.
Isn’t it time you made a commitment to be free of others’ expectations and to start to realize and feed what truly brings you joy? Call 860-385-1574 to set up a free 15-minute phone consultation to discuss your needs. I look forward to connecting with you!