Whether you are a stay at home mom or an executive and professional woman, you might feel like no matter what you do or how hard to do it, you never seem to feel like you are quite good enough. This can often be the case if you are the child of a narcissistic parent.
It is really hard because you want to love your parents, but after so much toxicity and emotional damage, this may be difficult. In our culture, it is shameful to feel like you don’t. It is almost taboo.
Nevertheless, being part of this toxic relationship feels terrible and at the same time, you are tied to them, so it feels like you can’t get yourself out of it.
It is a vicious cycle that can start to undermine who you have tried your whole life to be- and even then, because of this dynamic- you may not even know who you are.
If you are a child of a narcissist, chances are good that you grew up doing everything you could to be recognized and to please your parent ( the same dynamic holds true on into adulthood with your parent or a partner). As a child, if you didn’t get the validation you needed, you would try harder and harder, to become perfect and set unattainable goals to be validated.
As an adult, looking inside of yourself for that validation is what you need to learn how to do. When you feel good enough from the inside out, you won’t need to engage in approval seeking on any level.
Because his dynamic is one that started in childhood, it will continue to affect your sense of self-confidence, your ability to trust yourself and your ability to allow your intuition to guide you, rather than the external demands and validation from others that are unrealistic until you get help by a qualified professional who understands this unique dynamic and knows how to help you.
Here are some thoughts that might be driving you:
“I can do better” “ I can do more” “I should do (this) or I should do (that)” “ I should be perfect”.
Often, an ‘A’ ( metaphorically) is not good enough for you, the child of a narcissistic parent. You might be really hard on yourself and discount that achievement when you worked really hard to get it.
You might have body image issues
You might be feeling less than confident in yourself.
You might be feeling like you have to be perfect.
You might be setting unattainable goals.
Chances are that you are probably feeling really anxious and even depressed.
You might find yourself being really critical of yourself for feeling this way, ‘after all, everything looks good on the outside’, while on the inside you are really suffering.
You are meant to be loved in a way that feels respectful, you are meant to live a good life, to know what calm feels like, to laugh from your heart and your belly and to trust your intuition.
I am here to support you to feel valued and heard.
This is all possible. You’ve got this…