New Year, No Contact: Why Group Therapy Will Help
Congratulations! You have decided that your New Year’s Resolution is to stop communicating with the narcissistic person or people in your life and go fully no-contact. Despite this significant achievement, you may feel self-centered for prioritizing your feelings and needs. It is perfectly normal to feel lonely or to begin second-guessing yourself during these times, especially as the holidays approach. We want to emphasize that taking care of yourself is a means of self-preservation. If you’re worried about going no-contact this holiday season or concerned that your toxic relationship will tip the scales at the upcoming holiday gathering, we’ve put together some tips to help you know what to expect.
How to Successfully Go No-Contact
So, what does going no-contact with a family member mean? The term “no contact” means that your interactions with them, including digital ones, will cease. While they may become increasingly upset when we leave them or take a break from their manipulation, remember that the fear of rejection plays a crucial role in how they react.
Regardless of why you are ending contact, no explanation is owed to them
Block and delete all of their social media accounts
Cut off as many ties as possible with their family and friends
Do not forget you have the right to intervene when someone upsets you or disrespects you
Give yourself something to look forward to, and plan out something fun to do with a friend or by yourself
What Happens to a Narcissist When You Go No Contact?
If we say “no,” to a narcissist, they’ll often try to make us feel guilty for not being available to them all the time as our first line of defense. Frequently, narcissists will respond passive-aggressively, meaning they may not express their disappointment directly. Instead, they will wait until another moment to remind us how we hurt or punished them, often when we ask for assistance with something or if someone brings us up in conversation.
Although everyone gets hurt, upset, or even angry when rejected, a narcissist’s reaction is much different. This is because they believe they are much more superior to others, so they react much more intensely. Rejecting or standing up for ourselves will make them feel threatened or even desperate. Belittling and blaming us for their problems will help them feel less abandoned because they will feel superior to us, thinking we are incapable of measuring up.
They may also:
Send you long-winded, love messages and emails
“Accept responsibility” for their actions – be prepared to be misled!
Project their negative characteristics onto you
Play the victim and blame you for their problems
Discredit you in front of others
Guilt trip you and manipulate you into returning to them
Make sure someone close to you understands how much you hurt them
Setting Boundaries is Easier with Support
There might be times when it is painful for us to realize that our relationship has ended, but this is also the time when we begin to recover from that painful experience. When we leave an abusive relationship, we can regain our power in a much healthier environment and move forward in life with our newfound freedom. Our support system is the best way to accomplish this, as it will help us learn and set appropriate boundaries to help us succeed. To be well, we need to have the support of our family and friends. Nevertheless, sometimes it’s hard to talk to them without feeling judged or criticized. In these moments, we may feel even more alone because we can’t reach out to anyone who understands what we are going through.
Taking part in group therapy is one of the most powerful actions you can take to improve your mental health. Participating in group therapy will connect with others going through similar situations as you, which is both validating and motivating. Further, you will see that you are not alone in your challenges, as other group members have had similar experiences. Despite what the narcissist in your life might have told you, you have not overreacted.
When you participate in a group therapy program, you can feel heard and seen in a way that might not exist outside this unique environment. You will also be able to give more than you take in these settings by sharing your insights and experiences, which will also benefit the others in your group.
Reach out for Support at West Hartford Counseling and Coaching
When facing challenging times, it is particularly beneficial to participate in group therapy sessions, especially when you are going no-contact during the holiday season. As an extreme contrast to what you’re used to, an environment that is reassuring, compassionate, and open is particularly conducive to healing. We are rooting for you with all of our hearts. We support you and are honored to embark on this new journey with you. To learn more about how a therapeutic environment can benefit you or a loved one, we urge you to contact us today and set up a free consultation with us!